Flickr has photos of today's headlines from the UK papers. I'm sure the next time the Brits go to the polls, we'll return the compliment with similarly dramatic coverage.
My favorite headline is on the far right of the photo above. It's from The Star, which considers Barak Obama significant, but not quite as significant as the attractive young woman it identifies as "Abbey Clancy in thigh-high boots." It might seem from The Star's headline that they're thanking us for our choice, but, on closer inspection, they seem to be thanking us merely for having an election:
Unfortunately, I can't find the full article online, so it's not clear to me exactly how "American election fever save[d] a million British jobs," but once again, let me say: you're welcome.
I would like to congratulate my fellow Americans for making a historic choice. At long last, the greatest barrier in America has been broken.
That's right: for the first time in history, the President of the United States will have a rabbi for a cousin.
Mazal tov, Barak!
Not surprisingly, the election has received considerable interest over here. Last night, I was out at a movie and the gentleman sitting next to me heard my accent. He asked where in the US I was from, and when I told him Washington, DC, he said, in the mildest, most polite tone imaginable, "Tell me, is that a region that tends to trend towards McCain or Obama?"
I've lived here long enough to know that this is Britspeak for, "I'm dying to know who you voted for but it would be rude to come out and ask." So, by way of answer, I unbuttoned my shirt, revealing the Obama t-shirt underneath.
The English reserve melted away. He got a big grin and clapped me on the shoulder. At that point, the movie started, so we didn't get the chance to talk further, but afterwards, he told me he was going home to watch the results on TV.
So, random English guy who sat next to me at the movie, on behalf of America, let me say, "You're welcome."
Probably the question I am asked most often about life in the UK is, "What is the official tartan of Scottish Jews?" In the past, I have been able to answer only with a sad sigh and a brushed-away tear. But I shall weep no longer. Rabbi Mendel Jacobs-- who bills himself as "the only Scottish-born rabbi living in Scotland" -- has received approval from the Scottish Tartans Authority for the first official Jewish Tartan. Here it is, as modeled by Rabbi Jacobs:
My only disappointment is that "Mendel Jacobs" is a sadly non-Scottish name for Scotland's only Scottish-born rabbi. Maybe it used to be Mendel MacJacob, and he changed it to sound less ethnic?
Apparently, John McCain feels he is needed in Washington, DC, on Friday, and he therefore can't attend the scheduled debate. Senator Obama disagrees, and plans to attend.
Fortunately for Senator McCain, there's an easy solution. He has already chosen the one person in America he considers most qualified to step in for him if he can't fulfil his duties: Sarah Palin.
So why not send Governor Palin to debate Barack Obama?
Surely if she's qualified to negotiate with foreign heads of state, she can handle a debate with one little US Senator. And while she's busy dazzling America with her extensive grasp of international affair, Senator McCain can... well, he can do whatever magic economy-fixing voodoo is so important that he has to do it Friday evening.
It's a win-win!
I've been looking for some good Obama babywear, with no luck. The best I could find was a rather tacky looking outfit with the on-the-nose message "Babies for Obama."
So I came up with a slightly more interesting slogan. And thanks to the exceptional design talents of the folks at Hunt Smith Design, it's now available for purchase at Spreadshirt.com:
Here's how my local pub is celebrating the 4th of July. (Apologies for the low-quality cameraphone image.)
In case you're wondering, "Fancy Dress" is Brit-speak for "costume." But aside from that one Englishism, they've got everything spot-on. Ah, how many a 4th July did I spend in my youth, dressed up as George Washington and playing "Shot The Balloon!" To this day, a good game of Hoopla brings back the scent of apple pie and cowboy cocktails.
God save the President, my friends. God save the President.
Her Majesty's Treasury has a subsection known as the Office of Government Commerce.
The Office of Government Commerce has a new logo.
Unfortunately, it turns out that, when scene from certain angles, the OGC's new logo looks like... erm...
Well, see for yourself.
My favorite British headline of recent weeks:
The British take April Fools' Day very seriously; almost every newspaper has at least one hoax story.
This year, my favorite print hoax was from the Sun, which was no doubt inspired by the media frenzy surrounding Carla Bruni, the glamorous wife of French President Nicolas Sarkozy, during their recent visit to London. According to the Sun's April 1 report:
FRENCH President Nicolas Sarkozy is to have pioneering stretch surgery in a bid to make him taller.
The 5ft 5ins leader has contacted a leading Swiss laboratory because he has become so paranoid about his frame.
Doctors reckon they will be able to add an amazing FIVE INCHES to his height in just over a year.
When surgery is completed he will be an inch taller than his stunning ex-model wife Carla Bruni.
Sarkozy, 53, was ridiculed on last week's state visit to Britain for being so short. He had elevated heels in his shoes while wife Carla, 40, wore a flat pair of pumps.
The method, Stature Augmentation Treatment, was developed on guinea pigs by Israeli academic Professor Ura Schmuck.
Even better than that was this video from the BBC. I won't spoil it for you, but I recommend you watch it soon--it will only be up for three more days.
UPDATE: If the above video link won't play for you, you can find a slightly lower-quality version on YouTube.
I thought this photo was pretty funny.
