My Oscar Predictions
Oscar producer Gil Cates has caused some controversy with his decision to save time by handing out some of the more minor awards right there in the audience, instead of letting the winners come up to the podium. He has caused further controversy by defining the minor awards as "those most likely to be won by somebody ugly." Overlooked in the furor is the fact that Cates will use the extra time to hand out several new and much-needed awards. Here is a brief look at the new trophies, as well as my predictions for the likely winners.
Best Supporting Performance by a Lead Actor: Jamie Foxx, who somehow managed to be classified as a supporting actor for Collateral, despite being onscreen for every single minute of the film. Next year, he will be following up his success with another supporting role in a film called Othello, starring Brad Pitt in the lead role of Iago, with Foxx playing his Moorish sidekick.
Best Direction Of A Film That It's Too Late To Actually Nominate Him For: Martin Scorsese for Raging Bull. (This award is sometimes also known as "Best Director.").
The John C Reilly Award For Outstanding Performance By An Actor Who Really Needs To Take A Vacation: This is a closely contested race this year. Jude Law was an early favorite for his starring role in Sky Captain And The World Of Tomorrow, but he was soon overshadowed by Closer star Jude Law, who seemed like a lock until Jude Law edged him out with his his dry and witty voiceover in Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events--a performance that was itself eclipsed by a star-making turn from newcomer Jude Law in Alfie. Other contenders include Jude Law for his brief cameo appearance as Errol Flynn in The Aviator, or Jude Law for his comic turn in I Heart Huckabees. Likely winner: Jude Law for his surprisingly convincing portrayal of Clint Eastwood in Million Dollar Baby
Most Unimaginative Movie About The Power of The Imagination: Finding Neverland
Best Film That Would Have Swept The Oscars If It Hadn't Been Animated And Had Featured At Least One Tormented Genius: The Incredibles
Hardest Films To Tell Apart: Many experts are predicting this will the pairing of Beyond The Sea and The Sea Inside, but they're really not that hard to tell apart. Beyond The Sea starred Kevin Spacey, while The Sea Inside stars Javier Barden, who also starred in Before Night Falls, which shouldn't be confused with Before Sunset, which was the sequel to Before Sunrise, and had nothing to do with After The Sunset. So I'm predicting the award will go to, um, whatchamacallit--you know, the one with Jude Law.