August 2006 Archives

The Novel Is Killing Our Children


As a counterpoint to the current hysteria over video games, Wired has a great article about the hysterical reactions to various scourges of the past:

"The indecent foreign dance called the Waltz was introduced ... at the English Court on Friday last ... It is quite sufficient to cast one's eyes on the voluptuous intertwining of the limbs, and close compressure of the bodies ... to see that it is far indeed removed from the modest reserve which has hitherto been considered distinctive of English females. So long as this obscene display was confined to prostitutes and adulteresses, we did not think it deserving of notice; but now that it is ... forced on the respectable classes of society by the evil example of their superiors, we feel it a duty to warn every parent against exposing his daughter to so fatal a contagion." - The Times of London, 1816

Cross Promotion

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A friend reports getting the following e-mail from Amazon:

We've noticed that customers who have purchased The Government Manual for New Superheroes by Matthew David Brozik also purchased books by Christopher Behrens. For this reason, you might like to know that Christopher Behrens's Penis Pokey is now available . You can order your copy by following the link below.

       Penis Pokey
Christopher Behrens
Price: $9.95
(June 1, 2006)

      Book Description
This book contains no nudity. No profanity. No sexual material of any kind. And yet it just might be the most obscene thing we've ever published! Penis Pokey is an illustrated board book with a large die-cut hole in its center. Every spread features a dazzling full-color illustration with one thing missing--a banana, perhaps, or a fire hose, or a sea serpent. Male readers can complete the illustrations using the talents God has given them. Are we serious? Yes! Is this funny? Absolutely! Will this be a terrific hit with college students, bachelorette parties, and exhibitionists of all... Read more


I was kind of hoping they'd cross-market us with The Da Vinci Code, but you take what you can get.

August lull

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Apologies for the lull in posting. I've got a script due at the end of the month, and it's keeping me very busy.

How To Make Tortillas


A common complaint of Americans in London (especially those Americans who used to live in the Southwest) is that it is impossible to get good Mexican food here.

As proof, I submit the following "Recipe suggestion," copied verbatim from the back of the tortilla wraps we bought at Tesco (an English grocery store chain):

Fill 2 wraps with shredded lettuce or mixed leaves and then top with the following. Wrap and serve.

Indian Style Filling
• 125g (4oz) cooked Tesco Chicken Tikka Bites, chopped
• 4 x 15ml sps (4tbsbps) tzatziki
• 2 x 15ml sps (2tbsps) Tesco Mango Chutney

Mm, mm! Just like las tortillas de mi madre!

Now on YouTube


The Bureau of Superheroics ad is now up at YouTube. Please view it and vote for it. Heck, vote for it without viewing it. We won't mind.

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