The Temptations of A Married Man

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One of my favorite neologisms is "tivodultery," coined earlier today, at my request, by my friend James. It describes the act of watching a TV program on your own when you normally watch it with your spouse.

The reason I needed James to come up with a word for this act is that I am being tempted to commit it.

I'm currently a week behind in Lost--I just got back from a week in Cannes. And tonight is the season finale. And my wife is in Helsinki on business and won't be back until Friday. And we've watched every episode of Lost except one together.

What makes it especially tricky is that, according to a rumor from a reliable source (WARNING: VERY VAGUELY PHRASED PREDICTIONS THAT WILL TELL YOU NOTHING BUT MAY TECHNICALLY BE A SPOILER), tonight's season finale has some huge, game-changing plot twists. Of course, they said that about the season one finale, and it turned out to be (WARNING: SPOILERS FOR SEASON ONE IN CASE YOU ARE TWO YEARS BEHIND IN WATCHING THE SERIES) the shocking revelation that behind the hatch door... there was actually a hatch of some kind. So maybe tonight will be a washout.

But if it's not, then the next 48 hours are going to be very delicate for me. I'm thinking I may not be able to read any blogs or online news, lest I spy a headline like "LOST Shocker: They're All Dead Figments of Hurley's Imagination In An Alien Zoo! Plus Hurley Is Claire! Who Is Also Dead And Imaginary!" Or something like that.

Oh, tivodultery! Why must thou tempt me?

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5 Comments

If I were you, I'd be less concerned about "cheating" on my wife than about having to ask a friend to neologize for me. Real men coin their own words.

Teme said:

Prominently displayed at our local Borders (on the first paperback table as you walk in, under a sign that says, "Paperback Favorites"): The Government Manual for New Wizards

Colin said:

"Tivodultery" is a gem! We have most of this season's Sopranos sitting on Tivo, unwatched. I said why don't we just forget about them and then rent the DVD's when they come out. But no, there they sit, taking up valuable hard drive space... So I'm doubly tortured. I don't want to commit tivodultery and go ahead and watch them without her. At the same time, if we can't watch them in some sort of reasonable timeframe (like, say, a fiscal quarter) I don't want them taking up space! We need a second neologism for churlish resentment at being 'forced' to maintain something on Tivo that should be deleted. Tivosentment? Tivotude?

Emily said:

And what do you call it when your spouse deletes a program you haven't watched yet? Specifically, the ER when Weaver became a mother. And the chef at Benihana brings it up because HE got to watch it. But you just got a summary from your cheatin' and deletin' spouse.

Colin said:

The Post had an article recently about tivodultery, and netflixduletery, cable-on-demand-dultery), although they didn't call it that of course. I tried to leave a comment on the story pointing here that they'd been scooped by a month+, but I don't see comments enabled for the story (correct me if I'm wrong and I'll post.) Article is here:

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2007/06/29/AR2007062900539.html

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This page contains a single entry by Jacob published on May 23, 2007 5:40 PM.

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