June 2007 Archives

"Probably Worth Heading Over"

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Thanks to the arrival of discount airline Zoom Airlines, there's a fare war going on for flights to the US. Just in case low fares aren't enough of an incentive to travel, the UK version of the travel website Travelocity has just sent out the following e-mail advertisement:

On the 4th of July the USA celebrates everything that's great about their homeland. When the people who live there love their country so much, it's probably worth heading over to check it out for yourself.

I can't figure out if we've just been complimented or insulted.

Losing the Edge

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There are certain indisputable truths in this world. Freedom is better than slavery. A just peace is better than an unjust war. And the gooey middle part of a brownie is better than the dryer edge part of a brownie.

Clearly, though, there are some savages unable to accept at least one of these truths. As evidence, I submit The Edge Brownie Pan, specially designed to give you a brownie that is nothing but edge pieces. The madness! What's next? A peace treaty designed to promote endless war?

What mankind truly needs is a brownie with no edges whatsoever. Fortunately, a wise man has discovered the solution. All it takes is a 26,000-mile-high space elevator, or possibly a tunnel that goes all the way through the earth.

A simpler-seeming solution would be to set up some sort of website, where those of us who to grasp the inherent beauty of brownie centers could trade edge pieces with the unenlightened philistines who desire them, but I reject that notion, founded as it is on the exploitation of raving fools who do not understand their own best interests. The giant space brownie tunnel is mankind's only hope.

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