Life In London: February 2007 Archives

The Voice of the People

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In an effort to encourage participation in democracy, the British government is having a trial of an electronic petition system. Many of the most popular ones are for frivolous causes like changing the tax structure or repealing certain laws.

Fortunately, there are some Britons with their priorities straight. Among the fifty most-popular petitions is this one, signed by 3060 patriots:

We the undersigned petition the Prime Minister to stand on his head and juggle ice-cream.

Almost as popular is this one, signed by 2,485 music lovers:

We the undersigned petition the Prime Minister to replace the national anthem with 'Gold' by Spandau Ballet.

We, the people of Britain, feel that our current National Anthem has lost a bit of its sparkle.

When we are confronted by the rare occasion of us winning a medal at the Olympics, we all have to mumble through "God Save The Queen", well God help us in 2012!

We would thereby like to table the suggestion that we change the National Anthem to something more modern and appropriate and that will re-invigorate our pride.

What we specifically want to see, is that the National Anthem be changed in favour of "Gold" by Spandau Ballet.

Further, we would like our National Olympic Committee to decree that Tony Hadley is the only person permitted to handle medal ceremonies where the National Anthem is played.

We don't mind what he wears when he does this, but preference is given towards a a gold colured suit.

Fortunately, the Government is vigilantly ensuring that no frivolous petitions sneak in along with such noble causes. A plea to ban "dyhydrogen monoxide" (also known as "water") was rejected because "It was intended to be humorous, or have no point about government policy."

My favorite petition, though, is this one, because I'm dying to know the story behind it:

We the undersigned petition the Prime Minister to End the rules of male primogenture with regard to succession to the Earldom of Stirling via a Resettlement-by-Letters Patent to the current Lord Stirling.

Submitted by Earl of Stirling of Clan Alexander